From Daily Parelli...
Get a can of soup - the size of the can doesn't really matter and it also doesn't really matter if it's soup. A can of beans, corn, peas, carrots, chili - just something with some heft to it.
Set it on the counter in front of you. Give it a good look and then pick it up. And put it back down again. Easy. Simple. Pick it up, put it down, nothing to it.
[If you think you should read through this whole post, get to the concept and then try the exercise later: DON'T! Stop reading now and go get a can and pick it up. Then come back and read the next step, which is:]
Pick it up again. But WAIT - this time, before you pick it up, think about HOW you're going to pick it up. Think about how you're going to put it down again before you pick it up. Think about what it's going to feel like to pick it up. Now. Tense the muscles in your arm as though the can is going to weight 20 pounds/kilos but it's also very fragile - too much pressure and you could crush the can - Now make your move. As you life the can, notice everything about the act of picking it up. What effect does it have on your muscles as your hand tightens on the can and you begin to lift it? And lift it as sloooowwwly as you can. See if it can take you 30 seconds to actually lift the can 6 inches above the counter. How much control do you have over the energy you're putting into lifting it? Notice the difference in how you use your muscles when you move this slowly. Do you remember your plan for setting it back down again? Okay, good, put that plan into action - set it back down. Slowly.
Wow, that was a huge difference right? Between just picking up the can of soup and picking up a can of soup. There was a difference in your energy, effort, focus, intent, process and plan.
So here's my question: how do you pick up your reins?